I spend a lot of time talking to people about their challenges and, more importantly, partnering with them towards resolution. A common theme when people ask to work with me is a general feeling of being stuck. It’s not so much about the challenge at hand but rather that they are not making progress on it and that has them also grinding to a halt in rest of their life.
Everything we do is connected by a common denominator, us. Once we are stuck in one area, it is a slippery slope to losing clarity, direction, motivation, general gusto, and ultimately our problem-solving abilities. We begin to doubt our abilities and that little voice in our head starts chirping in the background with an all too familiar narrative of “way to go, look at how screwed up this is! If you were competent you wouldn’t get tripped up by this, you can’t do anything!” or something equally ridiculous and counter-productive.
When I meet with clients and they are stuck in this state there is a series of questions about values that clears the way and enlightens the path forward. These questions explore and refocus the clients core values; or as I call them, their action compass.
How do you know where you are going if you forget who you are and what is important to you?
I have never met a person deeply connected with their identity and core values who couldn’t find their path forward. When people know exactly what they stand for and who they want to be in this world, action is simple and comes to mind. To me, actions are micro-expressions of a persons self-identity and a lack of action equates to conflict or lack of connection to their action compass.
Actions are micro-expressions of a persons’ self-identity
What is most important to you? What characteristics or attributes drive your behavior? What do you love most about yourself? What do you stand for when things are going well? What stays at the top of your priorities even when plans are falling apart? Who do you believe yourself to be? Words like Honesty, dependability, innovation, optimism, inclusivity, respect, are representative of potential core values you may hold that you would love to have guiding your behavior.
What would a person who truly lived be these values do? What does their behavior look like? What are you forgetting about yourself that applies here? These are only a few of the potential questions that might come up with a client as we dig into their beliefs and to what degree they are aligning their actions with them. From here we partner in the co-creation of the path forward that aligns with who they are and what they believe.
Sometimes, getting in to amazing action means taking a step away from the problem or challenge and looking at who you want to be as a solver or as you work through the challenge. By remembering what is most important to you, your unique strengths, and what drives your motivation, you clean the cobwebs from your action compass and the path forward appears before you as if you always knew what it was. I’ll let you in on a little secret; somewhere just outside of conscious awareness, you did.
What core values/beliefs are driving your behaviors today? Are they true to you? What would change if you were able to take a step back and take responsibility for who you are being and make a choice to step more fully into your values? What path might appear, and what might you be able to accomplish today?
In your greatness,